Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts

Monday, September 12, 2011

Ronald Reagan vs GOP Tea Party

Steve Greenberg - Freelance, Los Angeles - Reagan shrug - English - Ronald Reagan

Bill Maher, comedian, TV host, political commentator, was on the Jay Leno show on September 9th, after the Republican Presidential Debate and President Obama's speech on the job situation. When discussing why Presidential hopeful Jon Huntsman's political stance does not fit into today's Republican ideology, Maher suggested that "at some point, the left moved to the center and the right right got on a short bus to crazytown!

If you think that Maher is extreme in his analysis, just look to Senator Lindsay Graham, a Republican from South Carolina, who recently observed: “Ronald Reagan would have a hard time getting elected as a Republican” in today’s party." To emphasize the obvious, Sally Kohn, in her article Forgetting Reagan, states that
"by today’s Tea Party standards, the Republican icon would have been a Leninist-Marxist-socialist America hater." Kohn lists at least 5 ways Reagan would have been in hot water with the Tea Party.
At least by Tea Party standards, Reagan was kind of liberal—a fact that seemed to escape the GOP candidates claiming his mantle. Here are the top five ways the real Reagan would have landed in hot water with Republicans beholden to the Tea Party.

1. Reagan Gave Amnesty to Undocumented Immigrants

When the debate last night turned to immigration, John Huntsman said that if “President Reagan was here he would speak to the American people and he would lay out in hopeful, optimistic terms” how to get to positive immigration reform. It was a fitting homage from the race’s only moderate.

After all, when conservatives today complain that a stringent legalization program requiring all sorts of hurdles and fines in exchange for citizenship is equivalent to amnesty, they forget they’re swiping at The Gipper’s record. It was Ronald Reagan who passed the law making any immigrant who had entered the country before 1982 eligible for real amnesty—no fines included. The bill helped millions of new Americans gain authorized residency in the United States.

In his farewell address as president, Reagan envisioned America as a city on a hill: “And if there had to be city walls,” he said. “The walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here.” Strong words from the idol of those who now want to build even taller, electrified walls.

2. Reagan Shored Up Social Security

Last Rick Perry reprised his attack on Social Security, calling the program that has kept millions of seniors out of poverty a “monstrous lie.” But if Perry is going to keep insisting that Social Security is a Ponzi scheme, that would make Ronald Reagan its Bernie Madoff.

After boasting of his plans to privatize Social Security so that “those who can make better provisions for themselves” be allowed to do so, Reagan bailed out the program to the tune of $165 billion. In fact, Republicans can thank Reagan that they even have a Social Security to rail against.

3. Reagan Was a Union Leader

Before running for office, Reagan was a union leader. He ran the Screen Actors Guild and boasted of being the first head to lead it in a strike. Once in the White House, Reagan said, “Collective bargaining … has played a major role in America’s economic miracle. Unions represent some of the freest institutions in this land. There are few finer examples of participatory democracy to be found anywhere.” True, Reagan is famous for busting the Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization (Patco) union, but he supported the right of government workers to form unions and bargain collectively—and extended these rights to public-sector workers when he was governor of California. And not only did Reagan win Patco’s endorsement for his 1980 presidential campaign; The New York Times reported that in pre-strike negotiations with the air traffic controllers, Reagan “directed his negotiators to go beyond his legal authority to offer controllers a pay raise before their strike—the first time a president had ever offered so much to a federal employees’ union.”

4. Reagan Opposed Weaponization

In his memoirs, Reagan wrote that he dreamed of “a world free of nuclear weapons.” During his presidency, conservatives within his own party accused him of “appeasing” the Soviets in signing a nuclear non-proliferation treaty with Mikhail Gorbachev. Following the negotiations, Paul Wyerich, a leader of the New Right, wrote, “Reagan is a weakened president, weakened in spirit as well as clout.” Yes, Reagan redeemed himself with conservatives by presiding over the greatest military buildup in U.S. history and, in so doing, increased the nation’s deficit by from $700 billion to $3 trillion—more than any president since George Washington combined. But by refusing to send more troops into Beirut in 1983 when Hezbollah murdered 243 U.S. service members, critiquing Israel’s preventative strike on an Iraqi nuclear reactor, and seeking to draw down the weapons cache worldwide, Reagan never quite fit the image of a right-wing hawk.

5. Reagan Raised Taxes

All of the candidates in last night’s debate pushed the conservative Kool Aid that tax cuts will save America’s economy. For kicks, Mitt Romney went a step further, endorsing tax cuts for the rich while complaining that poor people who don’t pay taxes aren’t doing their fair share to support the troops.

But when he was governor of California, Reagan “signed into law the largest tax increase in the history of any state” until that point in an effort to balance the budget (How would that sound to todays’ GOP candidates, all of whom indicated they would not raise taxes by a single dollar even if it were offset with $10 in spending cuts). Once president, Reagan raised taxes seven out of eight of his years in office—including four times in just two years.

Basically, Reagan was a giant disappointment for arch-conservatives. He did little to tighten restrictions against abortion as president and actually passed pro-choice legislation as governor of California. He grew the size of the federal government tremendously, adding 60,000 new government jobs (versus, for instance, Bill Clinton, who shrank government payrolls by 373,000). As governor of California, Reagan supported and ultimately expanded Medi-Cal, which is the nation’s largest Medicaid program. Both as governor and president, he was one of the most proactive presidents in restricting smog emissions and protecting wilderness. And after his press secretary was shot during an assassination attempt against him, the president came out in support of stricter gun-control laws.

Sally Kohn notes, "The GOP candidates may have been standing in the Reagan Library, but they were a million miles away from Reagan’s legacy."

Jimmy Margulies - The Record of Hackensack, NJ - Republican identity crisis - English - 2008 campaign, Republicans, Republican party, GOP, McCain, Palin, Reagan, Bush, Goldwater

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

It Has Come To This....

When all else seems to fail, Andy Borowitz brings wit to defeat.

Democrats Accept Major Cuts to Their Balls

Outcome Surprises No One


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – After weeks of wrenching negotiations that went right up to the wire, Democrats in the House and Senate today accepted major cuts to their balls.

The cuts, which are expected to pass both houses of Congress on Tuesday, will give Republicans’ total custody of the Democrats’ cojones through the next election cycle.

The final hitch in the negotiations centered on how long the Republicans would keep the Democrats’ family jewels, with Democrats wanting them returned by 2012 and Republicans insisting on keeping them longer.

After much wrangling, a compromise was worked out in which the Republicans would keep the Democrats’ balls “indefinitely.”

After the deal was hammered out, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) was philosophical about an outcome that surprised no one.

“You win some and you lose some,” he told reporters. “Except that, as Democrats, only the second part is true.”

Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) said that the historic deal set the stage for more compromises between the two political parties: “Tomorrow we begin negotiating for their lunch money.”

I'm laughing through my tears!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Lewis Black on Donald Trump

2011_03_lblack2012.jpg

Comedian Lewis Black was so overcome with joy when he heard Donald Trump had come out as a 'birther.' Black knows that this means only one thing, a run for the Presidency. Black said, "This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. A President who's not afraid to tell the truth about being a lying asshole."


Randall Enos - Cagle Cartoons - Trump Weighs In Color - English - donald trump,trump,mosque,ground zero mosque

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Fox News: You're the Lupus of News

If you haven't see Jon Stewart's response to Fox News' Bernie Goldberg, then feast your eyes and ears on this video.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Bernie Goldberg Fires Back
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party

Give Your Doctor a Chicken!

Chickens for   Checkups


The Senate race in Nevada is heating up. Sen. Harry Reid (D) is losing in the polls to the Republic opponent, Sue Lowden. But things might change with Lowden's latest position on health care that she is proposing.

Democrats opened a new round of gleeful attacks as Sue Lowden, the Republican front-runner to unseat Sen. Harry Reid, again extolled the virtues of "bartering" for health care.

Lowden was recently the subject of late-night humor after saying health care costs would be lowered if health consumers paid with cash and bargained down prices with health providers. She called it "bartering," a term normally referring to a trade of one good or service for another.

Lowden defended her remarks Monday on the "Nevada Newsmakers" TV show.

"You know, before we all started having health care, in the olden days our grandparents, they would bring a chicken to the doctor, they would say I’ll paint your house," she said. "I mean, that’s the old days of what people would do to get health care with your doctors. Doctors are very sympathetic people. I’m not backing down from that system."

The Reid campaign, which has for months focused its attacks on Lowden, sent out a statement with the subject line: "Has Sue Lowden Lost her Mind?"

Lowden, a wealthy casino owner, has occasionally veered off message since the campaign began. The latest slip threatens to make her appear out-of-touch, which is the very attack Republicans had hoped to use against Reid.

Still, Lowden can claim a healthy lead in polls against both Reid and Republican primary opponents.

A question: How many chickens do you bring to the doctor in exchange for a lobotomy? (let alone a quadruple bypass.)

Greg Sargent claims that the
Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee is countering with a new website, "Chickens for Checkups!"

The DSCC’s new Chickens for Checkups Web site — a name that first appeared below on this blog — will allow people to send Lowden a “personalized message asking for her help in finding a doctor for their 19th century illness,” DSCC spox Deirdre Murphy says. It will include a menu of stuff you can choose to barter for treatment.

“You can’t make this stuff up,” Murphy says. “Sue Lowden is completely out of touch with reality if she thinks trading chickens for checkups is smart health care reform.”

There’s little downside in putting up a quick and dirty Website on this kind of stuff, since it doesn’t cost much of anything. Dems want to turn Lowden’s chicken chatter into a symbol of GOP unwillingness to embrace real solutions to people’s problems.
Sue Lowden's campaign isn't backing down. They are claiming that even doctors support chickens for checkups. Lowden’s spokesperson, Chrystal Feldman, sent out this statement:

Republican Sue Lowden is the target of a new website paid for by  the DSCC.

“Americans are struggling to pay for their health care, and in order to afford coverage we must explore all options available to drive costs down. Bartering with your doctor is not a new concept. There have been numerous reports as to how negotiating with your doctor is an option and doctors have gone on the record verifying this.

“Unfortunately, Harry Reid’s failed leadership forces us to take drastic measures. The fact remains that instead of producing a health care solution Americans support, Harry Reid spends his time focusing on attacking his biggest threat to another six years in Washington, Sue Lowden.”

The Lowden campaign sends along this letter to a local paper from a local medical professional, supporting the concept. “I have bartered with patients — for alfalfa hay, a bath tub, yard work and horse shoeing in exchange for my care,” the doc wrote.

Be that as it may, there’s a larger political context here, and Lowden’s tripling down on the idea only ensures that the story keeps on going, potentially turning her into a national punch line.
Comedians are having a hay day with this story.


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Ridiculous You Say!


A tongue-in-cheek article, "Obama to Nominate Jesus Christ to Supreme Court", underscores the ridiculousness of today's politics.
President Barack Obama is expected to nominate Jesus Christ, an immigrant originally born to a virgin mother in Bethlehem, to fill the new vacancy on the Supreme Court. Although Mr. Christ is over 2,000 years old, He is immortal, so Democrats and Republicans expect that He will serve on the high court forever or until He decides to start the End Times. Republicans are expected to fight the nomination on the grounds that Mr. Christ would radically move the Court to the left. The GOP is also concerned that, despite decades of controversy and speculation, Mr. Christ has never revealed his position on abortion. Mr. Christ, according to many authorities, is expected to oppose the death penalty in all forms. Michael Steele, the head of the GOP national committee, issued a statement: "Christ is a complete mystery to us. He won't reveal His physical appearance and many of His positions are unknown or the subject of speculation. He is a stealth candidate. Why won't He reveal himself? Who does He think He is?"

Republicans are reportedly outraged that Mr. Obama even considered Mr. Christ, who has been widely quoted for his sentiments supporting the poor over the wealthy. In a Facebook post, former half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin called for an investigation into the Bethlehem chapter of ACORN because of what she termed the "highly suspicious" coincidence that both President Obama and Mr. Christ had each spent three years as community organizers. In her post, Palin also wrote that "More and more of good God-fearing smalltime Americans from hardworking smalltime towns from great parts of this real America, West, South, East, North, are seeing more and more every day that Christ is a community organizer. We don't need another community organizer in the White House!"

Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) asked, "We're not even sure where He was born. Why is He afraid to show us his birth certificate?" Bachmann also announced that she would vote "no" when the Christ nomination came before the House of Representatives. Later, her congressional staff released a statement saying that the Congresswoman had forgotten that the House does not vote on judicial nominations.

According to Rush Limbaugh, "Christ doesn't know anything about free enterprise. This is part of the Obama conspiracy to drag us to socialism. If this guy is approved, I'm moving to Costa Rica." Sobbing, Glenn Beck attacked Christ's support for the separation of church and state, telling his audience "You know who else wanted a separation of church and state? Hitler."

Several Catholic priests were contacted for comment but refused to discuss the issue, and, even though they weren't asked, all empathetically denied that they had personally molested any children.

Democrats are optimistic about their chances of shoving Mr. Christ down the throats of Americans using normal constitutional and parliamentary procedures. Many Democrats are hopeful that Mr. Christ's past associations with prostitutes will earn him at least one Republican vote, that of Sen. David Vitter (R-LA).

If confirmed, Christ will be the first Supreme Court Justice who has at least one American city named after him: Corpus Christi, Texas.

Can Jesus rise above this?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Palin Hits the Jackpot

The New York Post reports that Sarah Palin received $100 for her magazine photo. Sarah Palin and her daughter, Bristol, earned an eye-popping $100,000 for their new In Touch Weekly cover, sources say.

For just eight hours' work at her own home, Palin pocketed nearly as much as her $125,000-a-year salary as Alaska governor. It seems her decision to quit her political role is making big financial sense. Palin also reportedly earns $100,000 per public-speaking engagement, while she has a multiyear deal as a Fox News Channel analyst.



Gottafaff at The Political Carnival has a tongue-in-cheek analysis of the Palin family.
Tripp, Trigg, Trak, Truck, Trek, Drek, Heck. They're all just one big happy family living off of their Paris Hiltonesque fame.
All Bristol had to do was give birth and stand next to her mom at conventions and such.
All Barbie had to do was talk about Bristol giving birth, speak in tongues, fail at potential Veepitude, acquire an odd accent that doesn't represent Alaska, talk about her lipstick, forget O'Biden's real last name, incite hatred, have her ghost writer write, and then charge a whole bunch of money for talking incessantly about all of that and other stuff.
The family that exploits together is maladroit together.
Watch out Sarah, too much exposure could be damaging.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Dorothy Would Be Screwed Today


The Wizard of Oz

the wizard of oz emerald city

Is 70 years old.

Today, if Dorothy were to encounter

Men with no brains, no hearts, and
no courage


She wouldn't be in Oz

http://www.costumzee.com/view/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/wizard-of-oz-dvdcover.jpg


She'd be in Congress!!!

http://images.thecarconnection.com/lrg/u-s-capitol_100170611_l.jpg

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Andy Borowitz Nails It

Details of Healthcare Plan Revealed

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - The United States Senate today unveiled details of its health care plan, tentatively called CompromiseCareTM:

  • Under CompromiseCareTM, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their current plan.
  • Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65.
  • You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.
  • States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.
  • You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.
  • You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.
  • A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she already exists.
  • You'll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel.
  • Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is "Lieberman."
You will have access to natural remedies, such as death.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Birthers, Jewthers, Whatever

Andy Borowitz says, Look who's Jewish now!
Obama Gives Hanukkah Wishes in Hebrew; Birthers now Claim He Was Born in Israel

Birth Certificate Reads 'Baruch Shmobama'

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - President Barack Obama's decision to wish Jews around the world a happy Hanukkah in Hebrew has added more fuel to the movement of the so-called Birthers, who now claim that Mr. Obama was born in Israel.

Orly Taitz, a leading Birther spokesperson, told CNN today that she had in her possession a birth certificate for Mr. Obama that was issued in Tel Aviv.

"If you look at the birth certificate, you will see the name he was born with, Baruch Shmobama," she said.

Thursday, July 23, 2009